This has been a topic that has come up a lot recently. Whenever something comes up repeatedly in my life I have learned to pay attention. It usually is something that God is trying to teach me. Sometimes - okay most times - it takes numerous attempts on His part to even get me to turn my head. But I am getting better. :)
Value. What am I worth? Do I believe that I have value? What gives value to the people around me? Do I think that they are worth anything? Is there a scale for value and worth that I am allowed to dish out as I see fit - even when it comes to myself? How do I treat people - and how does that affect their sense of worth or value? Back to the question do I believe that I have value - and how does that belief whatever it is affect the way I live my life?
Good questions. I would say that for most of my life I have not believed that I have value. I have spent most of my life being a people pleaser - always living in fear that if I don't do the right thing that someone won't like me. Which tells me that I don't believe that I have value as a person. Just me, Liz - who I am. That I am not good enough. That I have to prove it. I would say that in the past few years I have gotten better at the whole people pleasing thing - thanks to some good rounds of counseling! :) But what about that deep down belief? Has that changed at all?
Recently I had to look up the word "redemption" in the dictionary for a Bible study that I am in. (Side note: for those of you vocab snobs - you would be pleased to know that I have purchased a pocket dictionary and I carry it around with me most of the time b/c I am so drawn to knowing and understanding words. I think myself very silly for this - but maybe I am getting a little smarter! Couple that with my fake glasses - I could fool just about anyone!) One of the definitions of redemption in my dictionary said "to convert into something of value." It felt like a literal defining moment for me. God's redemptive act of dying on a cross for me - converted me into something of value. It isn't what I do or say - it is the value that God has given to me b/c of what he did! What HE did! And there is nothing I can or cannot do to change that. How beautiful and amazing is that?!
Since I read that, God has slowly been working on my deeply held beliefs about myself. He has been replacing the lies that I have believed for so long - with the Truth of His Word. He has also changed my thinking about those around me. I have no right to pick and choose who I give value to. Everyone is equal b/c Jesus died for them too - in turn giving them value. So although, at times, it seems like a really long process, He is changing the way I see others. Helping me to give people the time of day b/c they are worth it.
Anyway - lots more thinking to all of this - but don't want to go on and on. Let me know what you think!
Can you tell I decided to work on my blog? I know - I am a slacker. And really these two new posts aren't real deep. I just decided to download my pics onto my computer - so I thought I would post some. Remember in my "Family" blog when I said we went bowling? Well - we went bowling again after Christmas - had a blast as usual! :) And I think it is extremely important to post pictures from the event. Especially since I bowled a 143 - which is the best I have ever done. AND I beat both my cousins and my uncles! It is a day that will never happen again - so lets remember it! I took a picture of my score - it is the one in the top right hand corner - don't know how well it will turn out. The other pics are of all the women on my mom's side (not including Grandma) and all the guys (not including my cousin Ryan). Yea! :)
