This is going to be my Saturday post - since I was up at the lake yesterday. I thought it would be better for me to engage with the people I was with than tell them I needed to use the computer to type a blog! :)
On the wall hanging next to my desk is a calendar. It is a Mary Engelbreit calendar. I get one every year. Think she is great. The other day I looked at my calendar and it was still on March. Well - June is next week - where did all of that time go? They say that "time flies when you are having fun!" I think that time flies no matter what you are doing. And it especially flies when you get older. It was just yesterday that I was in college - and my 10 year reunion is in October. What in the world????
I have been thinking about time a lot lately. The reality that my life seems to be flying by has got me thinking about how I spend my time. Do I use my time wisely...or am I wasting it? Is all of my time spent on me...or am I giving my time to others? Do I live with a Kingdom perspective on time, realizing that Jesus is coming soon and there is a world around me that needs Him and lots of work left to be done? Or do I sit idle and just go about my day without a sense of urgency for the lost? Am I making a difference with my time? Am I spending my time on things that are going to last - like my relationship with God and my relationships with people around me? Or am I just sitting around watching TV?
These are the questions I am asking. And I will be honest - I am not all that comfortable with the answers. For the most part - I feel like I am not spending my time the way that I should. Take my job - where I spend most of my time. I truly believe that it has been the perfect job for me while I have been here - it is helping me pay off my debt. And that is the goal. But I am getting antsy to be in a place of work where what I am doing is impacting the kingdom. So I am working toward that. But I am still here - so what am I doing with the time I still have at my place of work? Even though I am not in direct ministry - am I using my time there as a ministry? Am I setting an example of Christ to the people I am around? Do I make the most of every opportunity to share Jesus with them? When I leave will the people there even know who I am and what I am all about? I am starting to realize that my focus on time isn't always about the future - it is about right now! And I need to have a burden for the lost people I work with - b/c my time there is short.
Over this past 9 months I also believe that I have been in a season of working on me. And as that season will continue for the rest of my life - balance needs to make its way back into the picture. It has become too much about me. I have been challenged lately, in many area of my life, about surrender. A big area for me is surrendering my time. In a very unhealthy way, I have come to live life like I have a right to my time. And granted, there needs to be a balance between taking care of yourself and giving to others. But I have come to realize that by surrendering my time to God, I become free to love both myself and others better. God knows best what I should be doing with my time. And by holding so tightly, as I have been doing, onto MY time and MY schedule - I have missed out on many opportunities for service and relationship. I regret that.
I don't have all the answers to my own questions yet. But I do know that my time on this planet is short, so I want to make the most of the time I have. I want that time to count for God and His glory and not for me. I also know that some days I will fail at that miserably. But I want to keep wrestling with it and not let it fall to the wayside b/c it is important. So here's to finding balance and giving God glory in the midst of it!!
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